The idea of becoming a foster parent to an unknown child from an unknown background for an unknown amount of time is absolutely terrifying to most of us.

For this reason, I would like to make a suggestion:

Begin with Respite Care

Before I begin, what is respite care?

Respite Care is temporary care of a foster child for their foster family. These are kids who are already placed in a foster home but for one reason or another, the foster family needs short-term, temporary help. Sometimes this is planned, and sometimes it is not. For example, a foster family who had planned a vacation and the foster child is not able to attend will need respite care while they are on vacation. Many times foster families will bring their foster children along with them on their trips but sometimes because of cost, biological parent desires, or the trip being out of the country, they are not able to. In these cases, the child will go to a respite home. Other reasons for a family to need respite care are in the case of a family emergency or just a break. Respite providers are similar to babysitters but vetted by the state and paid by the state.

So why would I suggest a person interested in becoming a foster parent start with respite care? I have 4 reasons.

1

Respite Care is a great way to “get your feet wet” in the Foster System.

Perhaps the scariest part of the foster system is the unknown. In fact, the first step is definitely the most frightening one! Those of us who find ourselves paralyzed by this fear might welcome an opportunity to begin by sticking just a toe in the water rather than jumping all in. And, while we cannot eliminate all of the unknowns, respite is a great way to see the ins and outs of the foster system without getting in over your head.

In addition to meeting foster children, you will meet foster parents, caseworkers, and other system workers. These relationships are beneficial and will help you tremendously during your time as a respite provider and (if you choose) foster parent. As caseworkers get to know you and your home, they can refer families to you for respite and can assist in any future placements. You will feel more like a part of the team and they will treat you as such.

2

Sometimes Respite Care leads to a placement.

It’s not unheard of for a respite provider to ask to be placed with a child they provided respite for. Because you have a relationship with the child, if something changes you could be asked to take them longer term as their foster parent. I have even known families who adopted children that originally came into their home for respite.

The benefit here is that you have met and know the foster child before you are asked to care for them longer term. You will already have a relationship with them and they will already feel more comfortable in your home. Depending on how long and how often you provide respite care for the child, you will know some of their quirks, needs, and behaviors ahead of time and will know if they are a good fit for your family.

3

Flexibility!

The flexibility Respite Care offers is appealing to many who are not sure about long-term placements and commitments. If you travel often, have a job with varying hours, or are just in a stage of life where you want to help but are unable to commit to a long-term placement, respite is for you.

Respite can be as short as an afternoon or as long as a month. You can state upfront what your availability is and accept the cases that fit. You can pick and choose the families you provide care for and the ages and abilities of the children in your home. Because it is short-term, you will not be locked into a situation that is not a good match for you and your family.

4

Respite providers are the unsung heroes of the Foster Care System.

Most importantly, respite providers are NEEDED! Not a lot of people know about the respite program so there are not a lot of respite options for foster families. What if an emergency comes up? What if they just need a break? What will they do?

Unfortunately, the longevity of foster families is incredibly short. Many do not continue fostering after their first placement and even more do not last longer than a year. Why is this? Because they lack SUPPORT. One of the best ways we can support a foster family is through respite care.

Everyone can do something.

You may have heard this statement made of foster care and thought, “But I do not know what I can do!” Respite is an easy way to get involved in foster care. It is a simple way to support foster families, show love to foster children, and make an impact. You never know where it will lead but it will only lead where you want it to go. You can stay as busy or as free as you like and you will be the hero of the foster families (and children) you provide care for.

If you are interested in respite care requirements in your area. Visit the Children’s Division website of your state. If you have problems finding it, let us know! We would love to help you find the information you need.