Week 1
Daniel Fast-Week 1
Entry 4 - February 26th - Day 5 of Lent
Well, this sucks.
Jared hates when I use that word. However, I feel like "stinks" just doesn't cut it.
I knew that giving up caffeine, sugar, and processed foods would be tough. I actually quit consuming these 3 weeks ago. If you missed why, read my previous blog post, An Unexpected Twist.
The cravings and withdrawal symptoms should have subsided by now. I've felt horrible for days and it is not getting better. Anytime I eat anything, I am immediately nauseous for hours. My head feels like it is full of concrete and my temper has been short. Extremely short.
To be fair, some of these symptoms could be due to the prescription medication I recently stopped taking. In any case, today, I was at my end. I was tired of being angry, tired of feeling awful, and ready to give it all up.
5 days in. Sheesh.
So I announced to my family that I was taking a walk and that I didn't plan to return until God had spoken to me.
Bold? Yes. But I was desperate.
I set out with my trusty sidekick, Graham.
I'll be honest. I cried.
"Hello!! I’m down here God! Why aren’t you helping me??", I wanted to yell. I'm doing what you told me to do. Was I mistaken? No. I knew I wasn't mistaken.
"So what is the deal?"
As I walked, the Spirit said, "You've been eating horribly for 7 years. Did you really think a few weeks would fix that?"
Ugh, it's true. I haven't even tried to restrain my caffeine and sugar problem. If you are new to our family, 7 years ago we fostered and then adopted a sibling group of 5 kiddos. You can read the whole story here. My world was turned upside down, I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
But, I would change my reaction to it.
Food was never meant to be a coping mechanism. Coffee and Diet Coke was not meant to heal my heart. Sugar was never supposed to control my anxiety. In fact, when I started turning to these things, my anxiety got out of control.
I tell you this not to discourage you. In fact, I'm a bit embarassed that I was so ready to throw in the towel and drive to Andy's Frozen Custard after only 5 days! I hope you will be encouraged to know that you are not alone. If you are fasting for the first time, be it a Daniel Fast or another type of fast, you're not the only one on day 5 that says, "This really, REALLY sucks!".
"My enemies [caffeine, sugar, anxiety, etc. Whatever in the current moment.] will retreat when I call to you for help. This I know: God is on my side!"
Psalms 56:9 [brackets mine, obvi.]
God is on my side.
Thank Goodness! ;)
If you’re curious what I have been eating, the picture above is a pretty typical lunch for me. A can of hominy (I love hominy…this is taking me back to my college days), an apple, and peanut butter. For breakfast, oatmeal with dried fruit and walnuts has been a staple. And for dinner…well, it depends. Some nights I just eat popcorn (no butter). Some nights, like tonight, I cook up some broccoli and cauliflower and put it on brown rice. So far eating out has been pretty easy. We went to our favorite Mexican restaurant yesterday and I just had a fajita taco salad with beans instead of meat, and no cheese or sour cream of course. I really haven’t been hungry which is nice. My cravings have been 99.9% for coffee or Diet Coke.
Thanks for following along on my journey! I hope you find this series encouraging and…if nothing else…entertaining. :)
